Yesterday, I watched “Class Action Park,” a documentary on HBO Max about an amusement park in 1980s/1990s New Jersey. It’s actually really good, and you should watch it if you can.
However, this post isn’t about the corruption, (alleged) ties to the mob, negligence (seriously, that park should’ve been shut down long before it was), or even the lack of melanin present (I counted and found 2 Asians and 1 Black person…ooh, and in one of the newspaper articles about an accident at the park, there’s a fun headline underneath about a cross burning).
Nope. This will be about the nostalgia it elicited within me.
If you’re from Kansas City, or if you know a native, you have either heard of or been to Worlds of Fun. WOF, a Cedar Fairs park, opened on May 2, 1973 (learned that we are birthday twins during my deep dive yesterday, and considering all the good food at WOF, it would make sense that it’s a Taurus), becoming the competitor to Fairyland, the first and established, amusement park in KC.*
“I remember when it opened. They had Senior Night at the end of the year. They used to have a disco! Can’t think of what’s there now, but bands/groups would come and perform. Normally, they would charge a separate entrance fee, but not on Senior Night. You could go and dance and have fun.”
Worlds of Fun, when I was introduced to it, was separated into several “worlds”: “Orient,” Africa, Europa, Scandinavia, Americana, and the little kid-friendly “Pandamonium! (sic)”**. It also had a sister park, Oceans of Fun, next door. They’ve since merged, and admission grants access to both parks. We’ll talk more about how people used to hop the fence between WOF and OOF later.
Okay, I think that’s enough background. Onto the memories…
Before high-school, I went to WOF at least twice a year—once with my classmates at the end of summer school, and once with my family before the school year began. You see, I didn’t go on vacations as a kid—I’ve still never been to Disneyland, Disneyworld, or Universal Studios (unless you count the free areas I went to as an adult), but my mom wanted to make sure we had as much summer fun as possible.
So despite WOF being open through October/November, I usually only went in the summer; I wouldn’t go in the fall until young adulthood. I wanted to participate in their Halloween festivities and would often see commercials about Oktoberfest, but momma said it was “too cold to be on a roller coaster.” But anyway…
My introduction to the park was in ‘91/’92, putting me at 4 or 5 years old. I know, I know, no one would dare take a 4 or 5-year-old to an amusement park now, but, as Action Park-goers stated, that was normal then. When you have older siblings who want to go to the park (and the parents did too) there isn’t much your parents can do but to bring you along for the ride. Of course, I was too short to ride anything without an adult, but there were lots of games, and thank God for Pandamonium!.
Notice how I said, “ride anything without an adult…”. That’s right since the Wacky Worm wouldn’t open until 1993, my first ride on a coaster was the Zambezi Zinger, in Africa…where the Boomerang now stands, with my mom in 1992. For two people who were afraid of heights, we sure loved our coasters. My mom would always tell me to raise my hands and go “whee” right before the first drop. From her mind’s eye, she realizes how dangerous it was to have small children on a roller coaster because “the sheer force could’ve broken limbs,” but laughs because it was fun. And it was. Again, it was the early 90s.
Older Millennials are also the ones who were fed Kid Cuisine, Sunny D, and Lunchables. We were the test rabbits. You’re welcome, Gen Z.
I also think that after the bumper cars and several rides on the Octopus, she wanted to have a little fun herself while also giving me a go at a “big kids’ ride.”
Because anything Sean could do, I should’ve been able to do. (a mentality I developed at an early age)
Our family’s favorite and usually last ride of the day was the Fury of the Nile. “The Fury” as we liked to call it, was a river raft ride, and it may be one of WOF’s oldest rides. As those on “Class Action Park” recalled Roaring Rapids, I immediately thought about “The Fury,” even with stories of rafts being flipped and stuck on rocks. Don’t get me wrong, “The Fury” seemed to be much safer than their ride (after all, WOF did hire actual engineers to construct its rides), and usually went off without a hitch. Personally, I never saw a raft actually flipped though I heard stories. I can recall however, several times when my raft was pushed onto the rocks by another, stuck on the ramp (workers had to push it themselves), and even a group of (seemingly) drunk white boys trying to use their weight to flip the raft (much to the horror of their girlfriends). Some of my best memories were of us trying to turn the raft so the “big wave” could soak someone. You either left that ride dry or completely soaked, there was no in-between.
The Viking Voyager. This was another boat ride, though it was milder than “The Fury.” I bring it up mostly because it was the only time I saw Granny go to Worlds of Fun. Momma said it was her favorite ride. I was probably around 7-ish, and her laugh stays with me.
“Why did the floor drop and I dropped with the floor? Everyone else is sucked to the wall, but I’m kinda like sitting and everyone else is standing up (as they’re supposed to).”
Ah, the Finnish Fling, affectionately known as “The Floor Drop.” Another instance of AAVE taking over. It was so intense a ride that you had to wear closed-toe shoes or else they wouldn’t let you on. Seriously. That was a rule. Legend has it that someone had on flip flops, and they flipped and flopped and popped someone in the face. But that could’ve just been an urban legend. There were no seatbelts or harnesses on this ride. It relied purely on physics. Force (or is it velocity…or something else?) stuck you to the wall as the tube spun round and round. And the magic trick? After several cycles, the floor drops from under you, leaving you suspended and stuck to the wall.
There weren’t too many people brave enough to ride it.
I am the weirdo who remembers when each ride was introduced to the park. That is, if it was introduced in the 90s. I used to treat it like a parlor trick of sorts. I’m still pretty good at it. Test me if you want.
The Mamba opened in 1998. At the time, I remember it being heralded as the “fastest, tallest, coaster with the highest hill” or something like that. What we knew it is as was the ride that was famously stuck. Seriously, if you didn’t get stuck on The Mamba, did you even ride it? I’ve been stuck right after it leaves the station, at the top of the first hill, at the end where the brakes hit, and right before you pull into the station. Despite this, The Mamba quickly grew to be my favorite ride in the park. I even have a favorite side/seat. Remember the height fear I said I had? Well, I needed to be on what I call the ”inside” seat because it’s cradled by your seatmate and the emergency stairs and railing (which I fortunately never needed to use). It got to the point that I’d ride it several times in one trip. I knew where all the cameras were located (it’s the second or third consecutive hill), and while I wish I had those pictures, this was the time in my life when I was sans parental supervision and only given enough money to get food. And the food at WOF was EXPENSIVE.
Funnel cakes, funnel cakes galore! Look, I haven’t been to WOF since 2008, yet I’m pretty sure the funnel cake prices are astronomical now. When we’d go as a school, they provided a packed lunch so everyone had something to eat. We’d leave the park for an hour or so, eat our lunch, and get back to the fun. With my family? Well, momma made sure we ate beforehand, but we didn’t leave without sharing a funnel cake. My favorite was plain. Just powdered sugar and fried dough. Don’t put syrup or fruit on mine…
There are so many other memories I have about WOF, and I’ll share more in bullet points because this has been long enough. But I cannot leave without first giving honor and glory to Oceans of Fun. We barely knew one another; I can think of 2 times that I went. I wasn’t allowed to go that often because well, you had to pay a cost of admission to each park, but also because my momma didn’t think it was sanitary. Meanwhile, my feeble brain thought that if you could go to OOF, you were rich. Oceans of Fun, although a separate park, shared a few rides.
One of the rides they shared was the Python Plunge. I didn’t ride it much because it was always shut down, but I did get to ride once or twice. Much like another water slide mentioned on “Class Action Park,” I would fly up off the slide as I was coming down. In fact, the first time I rode, I surely thought I’d die because of that. Again, I’ve heard stories of people flying off it and getting hurt, but those were just stories…
That wave pool. That’s also something I recognized in the documentary. It’s also where I nearly drowned. After learning the mechanisms of a wave pool, I don’t know if the little boy was intentionally trying to drown me or if he was just trying to keep himself from drowning and I was the nearest target. But what I do know is that my cousin punched him so I could get up.
If you’re a person of a particular age, you’ll remember the opening credits to the TGIF show, “Step by Step.” And if you’re of a particular age and from Kansas City, you’ll recognize a ride similar to The Monsoon. When I was little, you couldn’t tell me that the bridge the parents were on wasn’t The Monsoon. At that age, I thought every roller coaster I saw in tv/film was filmed on location at Worlds of Fun.
(editor’s note: I also thought the zombie dance sequence in “Thriller” was filmed at the Linwood Shopping Center. KC was the center of my universe.)
I really can’t believe that they haven’t renamed the Orient area of the park to “Asia,” but at one time in my life, it was my favorite. The food was amazing; it was in the middle of the park so a great meeting point if you got separated from your party (in close proximity to everything not in “Africa”), and was home to my white whale, “The Orient Express.” I first rode “The Orient” as we called it (again, we liked to shorten names), in either ‘97 or ‘98. “The Orient” was my first “big girl” coaster, and after years of holding my friends’ things because I wasn’t tall enough to ride, I had something to prove. At the time, it was the only roller coaster that went in a loop, thereby needing over-the-shoulder harnesses to keep you safe. MOST people were terrified of it—which only made my desire stronger. I don’t even think my roller coaster-loving, annual carnival/amusement park taking, mother has ever been on it (she can correct me if I’m wrong). I was with my classmates on my first trip, and though tried to seem cool, was terrified of what was to come. I heard stories of people chipping teeth and/or being concussed because of the harnesses (I eventually realized the injury depended on your height), vomit..vomit everywhere, and the famed “Chicken Exit.” I’m not going to lie, when I got to the boarding area, I seriously considered exiting stage right, (and someone in my party who shall remain nameless) did, but I thought, “Nope. I’m going to do this.” Again I had something to prove. This proved to be another ride that I had to have been too small to ride. Tall enough, sure, but I wouldn’t feel that beaten up by a ride until I rode the Ninja at Six Flags St. Louis a few years later. Thank God for those harnesses though because I came apart from my seat several times while on it. Where would I be, for sure…
But that didn’t stop me. Each year, I would “take a trip on the Orient Express”—even if I didn’t have a riding buddy.
“Class Action Park” awakened a lot of these memories in me. Amusement parks are amusing, but they also, whether professionally engineered or not, come with a level of risk. Unless all you do is order food, you’ll never leave unscathed in one way or another.***
But you’ll also have a world of fun.
Worlds of Fun, I still remember every click, gear switch, scream…I even remember the smell. It was a distinct smell that only smells like you. I made sure to walk under the bridge coming out of Africa at night because that mist just hit differently than in Americana. You introduced me to Dippin’ Dots and Panda Express. You also let me live out my dreams of being on Star Search and gave me a personalized airbrushed purse that I know is in my momma’s garage somewhere. I went to the fireworks spectacular in summer ‘02, and teared up as I heard “Proud to be an American” (hate that song now—that post 9/11 trauma was real).
We’re in the age of ‘Rona right now, but I swear that if you’re alive for your 50th, just know I’m coming through. We’ll toast to our birthday.
Other Memories
-Omegatron. A ride I knew but never knew its name until today. It was another ride, though tall enough, wasn’t heavy enough, so I hit my head on the top of the cart a few times. I always left with a headache—was likely concussed. It’s actually why I stopped riding it.
-The Zulu. Enough said.
-Witnessing more than a few people get sick while riding “The Bamboozler.” This was also a ride that I was too small to ride alone, so my momma rode with me.
-The hunting game over by The Zulu and Python Plunge. No one else seems to remember this, but there was a game, I think it was called “Big Game Hunt” or something, where you’d take a toy rifle and try to kill as many animals as you could for a prize. Gotta love the 90s. It was always empty though, which is probably why no one remembers it.
-Speaking of games…shoutout to the guessing game where they attempted to either guess your birth month, weight (they had a scale), or age. I ALWAYS won because again, I was a smaller child who looked a lot younger than she was.
-The Cyclone Sam, which I stood in line for 2 hours to ride the first year it opened (1994), and made sure I rode every year after. If nothing else, you got a sweet reprieve from the heat as it was the only ride with A/C.
-WOF loved a spinning ride. Between the Cyclone Sam, the Bamboozler, the Finnish Fling (Floor Drop), Zulu, Octopus, Scrambler…need I go on? Stepping around, or smelling, vomit was not unusual.
-The Detonator opened in ‘96. I got stuck on it too. My mother was terrified. I was up in the air, feet dangling. Swore I could see my house from there. Another fond memory—hearing my cousin’s high pitched scream as the train shot up the tube. His identity is concealed to protect the innocent.
-The Ripcord—that same cousin I heard shoot up The Detonator is the same one who bravely flew over our heads on The Ripcord—a ride I still haven’t had the courage to ride.
-The Timberwolf. A great and classic rollercoaster. Someone did die while riding it though. I was either 7 or 8. I think she was 14. The park, witnesses, and media all said that she was trying to switch seats when she fell to her death, her family says it was a seatbelt malfunction. Either way, I was terrified to ride for years after that.
-Watching the big kids sneak into OOF from WOF before the cost granted you admission to both parks. There was some fence they’d hop, or they’d know the person working admission who’d let them in.
-EVERYONE, myself included, wanted to work at WOF. Coincidentally, everyone who worked there said that’s the worst job they ever had.
*Fairyland ultimately closed in the late 70s. I remember my mom driving by its ruins as a little girl, and telling me all her Fairyland tales. If she gives me permission, I’ll share…or better yet, have HER write them. You hear that, Janet Kay? YOU need to write!
**Pandamonium has since gone on to become Berenstain Bears Country (this happened a few years after I aged out), Camp Snoopy, and now, Planet Snoopy.
***What happened at Action Park was negligent. They should’ve paid for every injury, and certainly every death.
